New Years state of mind

Scrolling through Instagram feeds, it becomes apparent to me that there is a recurrent theme – People are so OVER 2016. And ready for a fresh start. Admittedly, I’m also feeling this same exact sentiment. 2016 has me all, “Bye Felicia.” There were some good beginnings, to some very good relationships (personally speaking, as well as a wonderful young man for my oldest daughter), several friends who continued to inspire me and feel like home, and always, laughter. But – If I have to be honest here, I’ve also experienced a loss of translation in 2016, confusion, heart hurts, and miscommunication that has injured and in a couple instances, completely cut off relationships that I loved. I believe in grief. I do. It sucks, but you can’t short cut pain because if you try to stuff it down, it will re-appear later. Loss of self, loss of a relationship, a friendship, maybe seeing a situation with clean eyes, hurts. But grief and pain, if you let it, will build such strength of character and empathy, that it will change you, and you will change others around you, by your growth. It’s gonna be okay, Babe. I’m gonna be okay. Life is funny that way. Not “ha, ha” funny. But just, you can’t control some things that happen around you, or to you, but you CAN do a lot.

I haven’t written on my blog in a good bit, because I’ve been in such a place that I considered myself frozen. Waiting on stuff. Sometimes, other people. Sometimes, stuck in…hell. Authenticity is super important to me, and frankly, I just haven’t been in a space where writing about fashion and fluff seemed appealing to me. I didn’t feel it. So, I stopped. I’m good at real. Sometimes, too good. Y’all know I’m going somewhere with this.

People cannot change you. They can certainly mess with you. They can steal your joy. Rob you of your best, most fruitful life. But they cannot have your core, your essence. You are still you. Your mind is still intact. You are sharp as a whip! Your desires and passions, do not die. Even if frozen, Darling. You are in there. I see you.

Here’s the beautiful thing. Add good stuff to your plate. I mean, don’t worry about the stuff that you cannot take off right now. And just add good stuff to your plate this year. Go back to school, cultivate and nurture good friendships, build a strong support system, serve others in their pain (yours will still be there, but magically will dim), and for craps sake, be YOU. God, you have no idea how people will love you for this. If you are you, people will think that they can be brave too, and you will free them up to be THEM. 

I haaaaate New Years resolutions. But I like adding good stuff to my plate because it chokes out the bad. If you concentrate on adding good, you are focusing on the good, and pretty soon (NOT by accident) your plate is overflowing with good because that’s what you are mindfully creating for yourself. Dream big. Don’t stop there! Keep going. Go further with the good crap, Baby! Pass it on, like a marathon baton, and keep running.  Gooooo!!!!

That’s what I’m doin’ this year. Holla.

 

Warmly, Sarah

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Stay on the platform

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Life with kids can be a roller coaster. It’s a twisty, turn-y, fast-paced, fun, heart pounding, thrilling ride! At times, it can be a wild adventure. That’s where you come in. You, the parent, must chill. That’s right. Chill. You are not steering this thing. You are merely a chaperone, while your child lives. Living involves messiness, mistakes, moments of epic success, and plunging heartbreak. Take heart! You do play a very important role though. A vital, life-giving opportunity to allow your child to grow, while you keep your sanity. Are you in?! I thought so.

This analogy will blow your mind. If you make this small tweak in your perspective, you will be an elite parent immediately and have so much credibility with your child, it’s not even funny. Except it is. Because it takes epic amounts of self-control, but it’s funny because it’s so effective. Why haven’t we done this before?!

Here it is:

Life is happening all around you, when you’re not even looking. You are sailing through, skipping through lines, flying past problems, jumping over speed bumps with your kids because you are awesome!!! This is so easy. What’s everyone complaining about??! Terrible Two’s? Nope. Scary teenagers? What’s that?? Meltdowns? Past that – Over and done. But then all of a darn sudden your kid grows some cojones (and this is so scary because I have girls.) So, just what the actual crap. Nowwwwww…. the nitty gritty. Apparently, your child hears a loud “ALL ABOARD THE CRAZY TRAIN!!!!” in their heads, because it becomes evident to you, rather quickly, that they are about to climb into the big wooden roller coaster and let it rip. All over your house. Fun times. Here’s what you do:

DO NOT GET IN THE ROLLER COASTER WITH THEM. STAY ON THE PLATFORM. STAY. BACK.

You are Ice Cold Mother Theresa. You show no feelings. You remain on the platform, letting them ride the feelings, feel all the durn feelings. Flash them a peace out sign, you’ll see them at the exit. In the meantime, they’re really enjoying that ride, aren’t they? But you don’t laugh. God no. Bite your tongue. You are Ice Queen. Elsa has frozen you. When they are done, you may now parent. Now…you are Madea: It’s about to get real. Did they sin in their anger? Then they have a consequence now. Sass? Backtalk? Disrespect? Ohh heeeeeeck no. You rebuke that behavior and correct them. Yes Mam! You are not having any of that. Remain calm, firm, but lead them. Lead by example, Gorgeous. Are you prone to freak outs? Stop it. Your home is a soft place to fall for your people, and their people. You want your kid’s people to come over. Because you are so unfathomably awesome, that you will breathe life and love into every last one of those “littles” and “bigs” who become the purpose for your life. That, and your kid’s people are so much fun that you want to continue to pee yourself when they make you hysterical with laughter. You are a life giver, in and out of your home, not a life-suck. You can so do this.

Listen, I have been incredibly blessed with my children. My Girls make parenting mostly easy. They are so good. So amazing, these Girls of mine. It’s ridiculous. But I have done this Stay on the Platform thing for many moons now. I know stuff. I have street cred. I am old. Trail and error. Praying. Seeking wisdom from older moms, who’ve been there.  < These were my steps. If you see a woman with older kids, whom you admire, take notes. Ask questions. There is no pride in parenting. If you are prideful, you lose. Your kids lose, more importantly. And that’s just sad okay? But you’re gonna win here. Your kids are gonna be all kinds of okay, and leap over okay, and into STELLAR SPARKLING AMAZING MODE!! People gonna be jelly of your new skills 😉

Stay on the platform.

Peace out.

 

Warmly, Sarah

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Fall lipstick picks

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Top: L’OREAL La Lacque in #207 / Middle: Revlon’s ‘Classic Red’ / Bottom: Neutrogena’s Moisture Surge Color Stick in ‘Amore’


Here in Georgia, Fall is in full swing. It’s time to think about transitioning your makeup for the cooler temps, if you haven’t already. The easiest, quickest, and most economical way to put your best Fall face forward is a new lipstick haul. Nothing says Fall makeup, quite like deep red lip tones: burgundy, plum, cocoa, brick red lip stain, and rich ruby tones, all convey warm Fall colors. Think leaf shades, and red wine. Dark, Earthy colors and warm campfires. Don’t be afraid of vampy, Gothic darks either – Some people can pull off black and look very couture! I like bold, chestnut browns – A favorite of mine is ‘Spice’ by L’OREAL Colour Riche.

If you are wearing a dark lip, make sure to strike a balance with the rest of your makeup. A good rule of thumb is: Dark lip/ light eye, and vice-versa. For Fall, I almost always choose a dramatic lip, paired with winged black or dark brown eye-liner, and generous mascara, but no eye shadow.

I don’t like a lot of eye shadow (if any) until Winter. By the time Winter comes, my lips are not in “spot light” condition, because of winds, cold, and moisture depleting indoor heat. So, Winter is when I put my eyes on display, and let my lips take a back seat. My lips are happy with their soothing smear of lip balm 😉 Basically, in the Winter, I flip-flop my Fall regimen. More on that, later!

Happy Fall Y’all! …And enjoy those cinnamon dolce lattes, in a red lip-stained coffee mug. Cheers!!

 

Warmly, Sarah

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