Scrolling through Instagram feeds, it becomes apparent to me that there is a recurrent theme – People are so OVER 2016. And ready for a fresh start. Admittedly, I’m also feeling this same exact sentiment. 2016 has me all, “Bye Felicia.” There were some good beginnings, to some very good relationships (personally speaking, as well as a wonderful young man for my oldest daughter), several friends who continued to inspire me and feel like home, and always, laughter. But – If I have to be honest here, I’ve also experienced a loss of translation in 2016, confusion, heart hurts, and miscommunication that has injured and in a couple instances, completely cut off relationships that I loved. I believe in grief. I do. It sucks, but you can’t short cut pain because if you try to stuff it down, it will re-appear later. Loss of self, loss of a relationship, a friendship, maybe seeing a situation with clean eyes, hurts. But grief and pain, if you let it, will build such strength of character and empathy, that it will change you, and you will change others around you, by your growth. It’s gonna be okay, Babe. I’m gonna be okay. Life is funny that way. Not “ha, ha” funny. But just, you can’t control some things that happen around you, or to you, but you CAN do a lot.
I haven’t written on my blog in a good bit, because I’ve been in such a place that I considered myself frozen. Waiting on stuff. Sometimes, other people. Sometimes, stuck in…hell. Authenticity is super important to me, and frankly, I just haven’t been in a space where writing about fashion and fluff seemed appealing to me. I didn’t feel it. So, I stopped. I’m good at real. Sometimes, too good. Y’all know I’m going somewhere with this.
People cannot change you. They can certainly mess with you. They can steal your joy. Rob you of your best, most fruitful life. But they cannot have your core, your essence. You are still you. Your mind is still intact. You are sharp as a whip! Your desires and passions, do not die. Even if frozen, Darling. You are in there. I see you.
Here’s the beautiful thing. Add good stuff to your plate. I mean, don’t worry about the stuff that you cannot take off right now. And just add good stuff to your plate this year. Go back to school, cultivate and nurture good friendships, build a strong support system, serve others in their pain (yours will still be there, but magically will dim), and for craps sake, be YOU. God, you have no idea how people will love you for this. If you are you, people will think that they can be brave too, and you will free them up to be THEM.
I haaaaate New Years resolutions. But I like adding good stuff to my plate because it chokes out the bad. If you concentrate on adding good, you are focusing on the good, and pretty soon (NOT by accident) your plate is overflowing with good because that’s what you are mindfully creating for yourself. Dream big. Don’t stop there! Keep going. Go further with the good crap, Baby! Pass it on, like a marathon baton, and keep running. Gooooo!!!!
That’s what I’m doin’ this year. Holla.